Time Only Repeats
by LONEzy
Summary: Taeren never wanted to run the Inquisition but he managed it very well considering. Although he did have a bit of help from a certain suave Tevinter Mage. But when the Exalted Council was held Taeren did not count on all his friends dying and he being thrown through time. Now he is right back at the beginning and is hell bent on saving everyone!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Taeren stepped through the eluvian. It shuddered as it closed behind him. He looked back at it, clutching Dorian's birth right around his neck, which was drenched in Dorian's own blood, and watched the eluvian darken. Taeren's grip on the necklace tightened as he remembered the recent passing of all his friends. They had all insisted on helping Taeren confront Solas, but the Qunari invasion had proved too difficult to beat, and slowly, one by one, his companions died. _Solas will pay for this!_ Taeren thought as he blamed Solas, _had he not betrayed us, everyone would still be alive. Dorian would be alive!_ He shuddered and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him.

Taeren turned from the darkened eluvian and jumped in surprise at the Qunari who had his weapon draw and ready to strike. It wasn't until a few seconds had elapsed that Taeren realised that the Qunari and all their surrounding companions were frozen in stone. _Did Solas do this?_ Taeren thought as he made his way through the standing graveyard.

As Taeren drew closer to the stairs he heard a voice. "Ebasit kata. Itwa-ost." The voice was sullen but full of pride. And Taeren knew it belonged to Solas. He ran faster though the graveyard of Qunari. "Maraas kata!" it was the Qunari leader Viddasala. Taeren ran up the stairs to confront the other elf, still hearing the conversation.

"Your forces have failed. Leave now, and tell the Qunari to trouble me no further" Solas said to Viddasala as he turned away from her when Taeren reached the top of the stairs. The Qunari drew her spear and readied to throw it at Solas. Solas stopped, his steel eyes flashed blue and the Qunari turned to stone.

"Solas" Taeren said as he drew closer to the elf. Solas turned to face him. Suddenly the Anchor flared up, pain wracking Taeren's body. Solas walked forward as Taeren fell to his knees in pain. Solas' eyes flashed blue and the pain from the mark subsided. "That should give us more time" Solas said solemnly as Taeren stood. "I suspect you have questions" he continued. And Taeren did. He wanted to know what Solas was doing.

And Solas told Taeren of how he could control the Anchor. How he was the elven god Fen'Harel. And his plan to bring back the ancient elves, tear down the Veil, and destroy the world in the process. As Solas concluded explaining everything the Anchor flared up, signalling the end of their conversation. Taeren cried out in pain, falling to his knees again. Solas walked closer.

"The mark will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you… at least for now" Solas said, kneeling down next to Taeren. Taeren looked up at Solas, bright blue eyes on the brink of tears.

"Save me?" He spat at Solas. "All my friends are dead because of you! Dorian is dead because of you! Fuck you, Solas!" Taeren said as he lunged at Solas, ignoring the pain in his hand. Solas dodged out of the way easily. Taeren stood, difficultly as Solas slowly walked towards him. Taeren tried to back up but an open eluvian was behind him.

 _I can't defeat him. But what's the point. I have lost everything. I would rather the mark kill me_ Taeren thought in defeat. In a last minute decision, as Solas was drawing nearer and nearer, he turned and dove into the eluvian. Solas reached out to close the eluvian before Taeren fell through, but he was too late. The last Solas saw of Taeren was his golden hair being consumed by bright green light as the Anchor suddenly sent a pulse of Fade magic out as Taeren fell through the closing eluvian. Taeren closed his eyes as he felt his world go white.

Taeren awoke to a light green flickering coming from the Anchor. He tried to move his hand to study what the Anchor was doing, but found he couldn't as they were bound in manacles. He suddenly jerked his head up and looked around. He was in an oddly familiar cell, but he just could not place why it was familiar. As he tried to figure out where he was, the door to the cell opened, and two women walked through. "No…" Taeren said quietly as he saw Cassandra. She had died in their pursuit of Solas. The dragon the Qunari had captured had mauled her to death. She had been ripped in two, and definitely dead, yet here she was alive and well and circling Taeren.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now. The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you" Cassandra said as she continued to circle Taeren. _Why does she not recognise me? Wait, did she say the Conclave? But that was years ago!_ Taeren thought. He had no idea what was going on. Taeren stayed silent as he tried to understand what was happening. Cassandra suddenly grabbed his hand with the Anchor upon it, "Explain this" she said sharply.

"I have no idea what is going on. Where am I? What happened?" Taeren said in confusion.

"You're lying!" she said suddenly as she lunged at him. Leliana grabbed her and pulled her away, "We need him, Cassandra" she said.

The whole scenario gave Taeren the weirdest sense of deja-vu he had ever had. _It's like when I first joined the Inquisition… No… There is no way…_ Taeren thought as an idea dawned on him. _Have I gone back in time? I can't have!_ He thought in dismay. He had to be sure.

"Do you remember what happened? How this begun?" Leliana asked Taeren. He shook his head. He had no idea what happened.

"I remember falling, and a lot of white" he said quietly trying to understand how he had got here.

"Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take him to the Rift" Cassandra said to Leliana, who in turn nodded and promptly left.

"What is going on?" Taeren asked Cassandra. _If I recall correctly she says something like 'it will be easier to show you'_ Taeren thought. Cassandra took his hand out of the manacle and bound them with some rope.

"It will be easier to show you" Cassandra said leading the way out of the cell.

The entire trip out of the cell Taeren couldn't believe he knew what Cassandra was going to say. _If the Breach is in the sky, then I know I have gone back in time,_ Taeren thought as they approached the Chantry's doors. The doors were opened to a snowy town bathed in a light green glow. Taeren looked up into the sky, and there it sat; The Breach. "Oh… You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Taeren shouted in annoyance. _I really have gone back in time. I'm going to have to close it again!_

"We call it The Breach" Cassandra began. As she went to continue Taeren cut her off, "If you want my help to close that, can we skip the lecture?" Taeren asked. The Breach suddenly pulsed and pain shot through Taeren's arm. He fell to the ground, the pain was nowhere near the same as when he confronted Solas, but it had given him a fright.

"Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you" Cassandra said kneeling down next to Taeren.

"When is it not…" Taeren mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say?" Cassandra asked, not hearing him.

"Never mind. Let's get to the Breach" Taeren said as he stood up.

Cassandra lead him to the bridge leading up to the mountain pass. She then cut his bindings, "Come, it is not far" she said, leading the way up the mountain path. They had not gotten far when the Breach pulsed again, but Taeren was expecting it this time, the pain hit his arm, and he hissed at it, but he carried on up the path. Cassandra watched him, concern on her face. She knew the mark had to be hurting him.

They approached one of the many bridges on the path, but Taeren remembered this one, it was the one that collapses on them. He held out his hand to stop Cassandra.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"3… 2… 1…" Taeren said. As soon as he said 'one' some debris from the Breach hit the bridge and destroyed it. Cassandra was staring at him in disbelief.

"How… How did you know that was going to happen?" she asked. _Shit! I don't want to tell her I'm from the future, she'll think I'm insane!_

"Uh… well, I saw some debris heading towards the bridge, and thought it would be safer if we weren't on it" Taeren said in masked confidence.

"Oh. Well, thank you" Cassandra said, buying his explanation.

They climbed down the rubble onto the frozen river, as there was no way to the other side of the bridge. A demon burst out of a vent and Cassandra leapt into battle, completely missing the second demon that appeared. Taeren grabbed two daggers from out of the debris, and attacked the demon. Once he killed the demon he saw Cassandra finishing her one off. When she noticed the daggers in his hand she approached him with her weapon drawn at him.

"Drop you weapon. _Now!_ " she said sternly. Taeren sighed.

"Do you really think I will attack you, I just saved you from the collapsing bridge, don't you think I should be allowed to defend myself?" he asked her. She studied him for a moment.

"You are right" she said sheathing her sword.

They pressed on up the mountain path, fighting the demons in their wake. As they ran up the steps that were cut into the mountainside Cassandra commented "We are getting close to the Rift. You can hear the fighting." And Taeren could hear the fighting, and the fighting meant Solas was there.

Cassandra and Taeren dropped down into the battle and began fighting the demons. Once all the demons were dealt with Solas grabbed Taeren's hand and jabbed it towards the Rift and then pulled it away as the Anchor and the Rift had connected, thus closing it.

Taeren pulled his hand from Solas' grip and punched the elf in the face. The elf stumbled backwards at the hit, his hand covering his cheek where he was hit.

"What was that for!" he said in anger. Taeren turned to face Solas.

"Fuck. You." he said shortly and turned away from the elf. Both Cassandra and Varric were surprised at the sudden assault.

"Varric!" Taeren exclaimed as he saw the dwarf. The last he had seen of Varric was when a Fearling had thrown him from the Courtyard while pursuing Solas. They had heard him scream as he fell, but never heard him hit the ground. He had just drawn more and more quiet as he fell further and further away from the Courtyard.

"Do I know you?" Varric asked a little unsurely.

"Well not yet, but I know you, well know of you, how could I not know what my favourite author looks like?" Taeren babbled out. He really wasn't good at trying not to let on that he knew more than he should.

"Oh, well right. I just didn't think a dalish elf would read my books. Great to know they are being read so widely!" Varric said as he shook hands with Taeren. "So Kid, what's your name?" Varric asked.

"Taeren Lavellan, inqu…" Taeren stopped himself. He was so used to introducing himself as inquisitor. He cleared his throat. "Member of clan Lavellan." It finally dawned on him that his clan was still alive. Everyone was still alive. Dorian was still alive. He was now itching to close the Breach and hurry to Redcliffe.

"So, shall we go close the Breach?" Taeren asked a little to cheerfully. The party looked at him with varying expressions. Taeren looked disdainfully at Solas. _Maybe this time I can save everyone_ he thought to himself as he stared at the Breach.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The newly formed party continued their way up to the Breach, battling the hordes of demons that had sprung from the rifts. Taeren watched Solas carefully, he could not bring himself to trust Solas. _If I could trust him maybe I could change his mind…_ Taeren thought to himself but the idea was ground to a halt by the ever present weight of Dorian's birth right. _It's all his fault!_ No matter how hard he tried, the wounds were too fresh in Taeren's heart for forgiveness, even if Solas had done nothing at this point.

"So, Taeren was it? Are you innocent?" Varric asked drawing Taeren from his thoughts. Taeren thought for a moment. He knew what had happened at the Conclave, it was all Corypheus' and Solas' fault. But he could not exactly go _"yes, I am innocent the culprits are a thousand-year-old darkspawn, and our bald companion here."_ Cassandra would definitely think that he was a raving lunatic who caused the Breach.

He sighed deeply, "I don't really remember what happened, it's really blurry." Varric chuckled a little "That'll get you every time. Should have spun a story" he said. _Oh Varric you have no idea…_ Taeren thought. "That's what _you_ would have done" Cassandra said, cutting into their conversation. "It's more believable, and less prone to result in premature execution" Varric said in defence. Taeren chuckled, he missed moments like these, they had become less frequent in the closing months of the Inquisition.

The party continued their ascent up the mountain towards the Breach. They came across another rift and killed the demons that its spewed out. "Use the Mark!" Solas said as Taeren approached the Rift. "I know!" he snapped at Solas as he jabbed his hand towards the rift and closed it. Cassandra called for the guards to open the gates as Solas and Varric approached Taeren.

"Do you have a problem with me?" Solas asked. "Oh, what on Thedas would make you think that?" Taeren replied sarcastically. "Many consider sarcasm to be the lowest form of wit" Solas jabbed. Taeren rounded on him and punched Solas again, although the bald elf seemed to be expecting it and tried to dodge out of the way, the punch landing on his arm. "Ah, so my assumption was correct, you are just a mindless brute" Solas sneered. "Well, you would be surprised by what this 'mindless brute' knows…" Taeren leaned in and whispered into Solas' ear "Fen'Harel." The bald elf stiffened at the sound of his name. Taeren turned from the conversation and wandered to where the gates were beginning to open for them. Varric stood there looking from Taeren to Solas, _what just happened?_ he thought as he began to follow Taeren.

Taeren notice how Solas was keeping his distance from him now, and he kind of enjoyed it. He and Solas had been quite close friends before Taeren found out about Solas' hand in all the events that transpired. He hoped he would be able to stop Solas, but he knew his actions towards the bald elf were not going to help with convincing Solas. Taeren just could not forgive the other elf.

They approached Leliana and a Chantry cleric. Taeren started at the cleric, _why was he so familiar?_ "Ah, here they come" the cleric said. Leliana turned to face the group, "You made it. Chancellor Roderick, this is-" she started. "I know who he is. As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution" the Chancellor ordered. Taeren gasped, not at the idea of execution, but at the fact that he had not remembered Roderick, the man who lead the people of Haven through the tunnel to safety. _Fuck! How could I forget him? He was an asshole, but he came through in the end, and I forgot the name of the man who saved the Inquisition. I am going to save him this time!_ Taeren thought.

He had missed most of the conversation, and only just now noticed everyone's eyes on him, "What?" he asked. "Are you ok? You seemed a little distant there." It was Varric who had asked. Taeren realised his grief for forgetting Roderick had shown on his face. "Mm. Yeah I'm fine, I was just trying to remember what happened" Taeren nodded as he lied. "So, do you remember anything?" It was Cassandra who asked this time. "No, still very hazy, but I'm sure I'll remember eventually" Taeren replied, it wasn't far from the truth.

"Right, well, we need to decide which path we are taking to the Breach. A frontal assault or through the mountain passage? It's up to you, you are the one we need to keep alive" Leliana said to Taeren. "We take the mountain passage. We will not leave those soldiers to die" Taeren said sternly as he began to head towards the passage.

The party managed to save the scouts stuck in the passage. They also closed a rift while they were up there. Last time Taeren had insisted on taking the frontal assault, and these scouts had died. This time though he was going to save everyone he could.

The scene at the Temple of Sacred Ashes had never left Taeren's mind, even after all these years. He had often had nightmares about it, as well as every other grizzly moment that he had faced while part of the Inquisition, _So, almost every moment?_ He thought to himself, 'almost' being very apt. His mind flickered to Dorian and his ridiculous moustache. Taeren had no idea how Dorian got his moustache to do that, even after all these years. The image in his mind then flicked to Dorian's last moments. Taeren quickly shook his head, and held Dorian's birth right tight in his hand. _Never again!_

The party made their way through the ashen graveyard which lead down into the ruins of the temple. "That is where you walked out of the Fade and our soldiers found you. They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was" Cassandra stated as they looked at the rift at the base of the Breach. Leliana then caught up with them and then moved her soldiers into position.

"This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?" Cassandra asked Taeren. Taeren nodded but said solemnly "I'm not going to be able to seal it properly, we are going to need a lot of power to do that, but I will do what I can." Cassandra looked at him strangely. "How do you know you need more power to seal it? So you are responsible!" she said as she drew her sword at him. Taeren quickly brought his hands up in defence, "No I'm innocent!" _Fuck, I slipped up._ "Prove it" Cassandra said sternly. Taeren knew what was coming. "You want proof it wasn't me? Any second now…" he trailed off just as Corypheus' voice boomed through the temple.

"Bring forth the sacrifice" the voices rumbled. "What are we hearing?" Cassandra asked. "At as guess: the person who created The Breach" Solas replied. Taeren glared at him, _'At a guess'… You gave him the orb!_ He thought angrily to himself. Cassandra seemed to believe for the moment that Taeren might be innocent. "Well since we have that sorted, shall we close the Breach?" Taeren said with a little too much enthusiasm. "I thought you said you couldn't close it" Cassandra eyed him carefully. "Seeker, I never said that. I said I could close it but not seal it, well not at the moment anyway" Taeren replied. He then began walking down to the rift.

Once they reached the bottom, after avoiding the red lyrium, Taeren turned to Cassandra. "Now this is the part you are not going to like. I need to open the rift to close it properly, and that's most likely going to draw the attention of demons." Cassandra began issuing commands to soldiers "A fucking Pride demon at that…" Taeren said under his breath. Varric looked at him. He had heard what Taeren had said, "How do you know it will be a Pride demon?" _Shit!_ Taeren couldn't think of a cover for it so he just jabbed his hand at the rift and ripped it open.

And sure enough out climbed the Pride demon. Taeren joined the forces in attacking the demon, the daggers he currently had on him were useless, he wanted the ones Dagna had helped him make, his golden dirks. He had them when he went through the eluvian; he hoped they were stored in Haven. As the demon raised its defences Taeren ripped apart the Rift leaving the demon vulnerable.

This continued for a long while, but they eventually killed the demon, and its body disintegrated back into the Rift. Taeren wasted no time in closing the Rift for good. He jabbed his hand towards it, the green tendrils lacing out and connecting as always, then tension got tighter, and tighter. Taeren had forgotten what it was like to close this Rift. The connection became very tight and then Taeren suddenly jerked his hand away closing the Rift. A shockwave pushed out from where the Rift was and up into the Breach which retaliated with its own shockwave that sent Taeren falling into darkness.

Taeren stirred when he heard the door open. "Five more minutes Josephine" he said sleepily. He expected to hear her tut and tell him to get out of bed because they had a meeting or something, but what he got instead was a startled yelp and the sound of breaking glass. Taeren sat bolt upright in his bed. He stared at the small elf girl who had thrown herself onto the floor and was apologising profusely. Taeren remembered her, but he never knew her name, he didn't even know if she made it out of Haven. He felt a twinge of guilt, _how many people did I not save?_ "Hey, what is your name?" Taeren asked her. She jumped again stating that Cassandra wanted to see him 'at once'. Taeren made a mental note to find the elf later, and at least get her name.

He had completely forgotten about the crowd that waited for him outside his cabin, but it didn't faze him. He had walked through more than his fair share of crowds like this, it sadly almost felt normal. He followed the path up to the Chantry. Once he was inside he heard the raised voices of Cassandra and Roderick.

He opened the door into the War Room, and instantly Roderick called for his detainment, while Cassandra dismissed the guards. "You walk a dangerous line, Seeker" Roderick warned. "The Breach is stable, but it is still at threat. I will not ignore it" Cassandra replied. "Yes, and if I understand your report, the elf here knew he would not be able to seal it. He knows how that mark and the rifts work, the signs of a guilty man!" Roderick accused. Taeren had to admit, when put like that it did seem pretty bad. "Chancellor you were not there; you did not hear the voices. Although I would also like to know how you know so much if you insist that you are innocent" Cassandra stated.

"I don't really know a lot about this mark and the Rifts, I'm honestly just going off what feels right" Taeren shrugged. He had slipped up too much, they were not trusting him as much as he would have liked. "How did you know you could not seal the Breach?" Cassandra asked distrustfully. "Well, you have seen the size of the fucking thing haven't you? Not a single person, especially one who is not a mage, would be able to close that on their own. Its common sense" Taeren tried to defend himself. He just hoped they would buy his lies. "He does have a point" Leliana pointed out. Taeren thanked her.

Then the argument between Roderick and Cassandra booted up again. Then Cassandra slammed the writ from the Divine onto the table, announcing the re birth of the Inquisition. Taeren agreed to work with them and help close the Breach, _and I will be here to fight Corypheus too_ Taeren added internally.

He sighed deeply when he left the Chantry. _So this is really happening._ Taeren could not believe it. On one hand he was disappointed, because all the work he had put in had been for naught, while on the other hand he was ecstatic. Everyone was alive right now, and he hoped to keep it that way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Cassandra told Taeren to explore Haven and get to know its inhabitants while she organised a meeting, which Taeren figured must be the meeting with Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana. Taeren remembered Haven like the back of his hand, but it was the inhabitants who he never knew. He had asked Cassandra if he had supplies on him when he fell through the Fade, she told him that they were in his cabin. That's where he was now.

He dug through the bag that held his belongings and he found his golden dirks. Quickly he discarded the cheap daggers and replaced them with his. He then continued to dig through the bag, and found what he was looking for. A nugskin bound book. He pulled it out and flipped through the pages. This book had been his diary since the beginning of the Inquisition. Taeren looked over the final passage of the diary. He had written it before they left to stop Solas. Water splotches appeared on the pages. "Fuck" he said wiping away the tears that rolled down his cheeks. _Everyone was alive when I wrote this…_ he thought. His hand went to Dorian's birth right. Taeren pulled it away and studied it. Dorian's blood was now dried onto the metal, and it didn't budge with any rubbing or scraping. It would be a constant reminder, he let everyone die.

He quickly shook his head trying to dislodge the thoughts. Flicking through the rest of the book he noticed he still had just under half of it empty. _Perfect, that should be enough._ He then stood began to walk around Haven, talking to all the inhabitants. He asked everyone for their name, and he jotted it down in his diary, _I will remember everyone!_ Next to each name he put a note of where he met the person.

Once he had talked to everyone, he even found the elven girl who woke him up, he went and found Varric. "So, now that Cassandra's out of earshot, are you holding up all right?" the dwarf asked when he noticed Taeren next to him. _No, Varric, I am not holding up ok, everyone I loved died, now I have been thrown into the past and have to fix the world again!_ "Yeah, I'm alright I suppose, I could be better but you take what you can get, am I right?" Taeren said. "Well I suppose that's what happens when you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would have spread that over more than one day" Varric laughed. "Ah, but I am not 'most people'" Taeren pointed out. "What do you mean?" Varric asked, confusion lining his face. "Well, I happen to have a green glowing thing on my hand, which allows me to close rifts, I think that qualifies for not being 'most people'" Taeren jested. "Too true" Varric laughed. Taeren had missed this. He hadn't spoken to Varric in a long while, it was complete news to him that Varric had become the Viscount of Kirkwall.

"Hey Kid, can I ask you something?" Varric asked. "Shoot." "How did you know that a Pride demon would appear out of the Rift?" Varric asked. _Oh shit. I had hoped he might have forgotten._ "Um. Well, I didn't definitely know it would be a Pride demon, I just guessed that it would be a big demon, which you don't get much bigger than a Pride demon" Taeren said trying to sound as confident as he could. _I have got to stop saying too much_ Taeren thought. "Well, that's true…" Varric said. Taeren noticed that Varric didn't sound convinced. Sighing deeply, Taeren spoke again. "Sorry Varric, I'll tell you one day, but at the moment I just can't" _or else everyone will think I'm insane and that I created the Breach._ "Very well Kid, I will hold you to that though. It could end up making a good story" Varric said. "That it will Varric. That it will…"

Cassandra had called on Taeren to attend the meeting. The advisors all introduced themselves, and Taeren had to admit to himself that it felt strange. He already knew them all, and had helped many of them deal with personal matters. It hurt to introduce himself to them. He felt like he was lying to himself and everyone else by playing along as if he did not know them.

"So what is the plan then?" Taeren asked.

"As you stated, we need more power to be able to seal the Breach properly. Solas thinks that the same amount of power that was used to create the Breach will be needed to close it, and that power is not easy to come by" Cassandra explained.

"Which means we must approach the Rebel Mages for help" Leliana stated. Cullen turned to her.

"I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well" he said. Cassandra sighed.

"We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark-" she began to explain.

"Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress The Breach, weaken it so-" Cullen interrupted.

"Pure speculation" Leliana said shortly.

 _Oh, for fucks sake_ "Enough!" Taeren exclaimed. Everyone stopped and stared at him. "We do not have any influence right now, so I doubt either group would join us. So how about we focus on something we can achieve?" As much as Taeren loved his friends, he always hated when they fought like this, cause the arguments never got anywhere.

It was Josephine who broke the silence. "Taeren is correct, the Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you, specifically" she said as she turned to Taeren. "Some are calling you – a dalish elf – the 'Herald of Andraste'. That frightens the Chantry. The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harbouring you" she continued. Taeren chuckled. He had not been called 'Herald of Andraste' in a long time, it had just been 'Inquisitor'. But even after all these years he never believed that the Maker sent him. "Well the Chantry isn't wrong. I am definitely not the 'Herald of Andraste'. But anyway back to business" he said clapping his hands together.

The rest of the meeting did not take long, and he received his quest to see Mother Giselle in the Hinterlands. Taeren's face lit up. _The Hinterlands means that soon I can see Dorian_ he thought as he almost skipped out of the room. They were to set off tomorrow at dawn, that left the rest of the afternoon for Taeren to kill.

Taeren walked through the few streets of Haven. He passed Solas, who watched him carefully. Taeren ignored him mostly and continued on his way out the gates. He saw Cassandra ferociously attacking the training dummy. Cassandra saw him approaching and spoke as she continued her attack. "Did I do the right thing?" she asked. "What I have set in motion here could destroy everything I have revered my whole life. One day, they may write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right."

"Cassandra I wouldn't worry too much. The Inquisition will flourish, and we will close the Breach. And if anyone is going to write about this it will most likely be Varric, so I would take any concerns about your character up with him" Taeren laughed. Cassandra let a small chuckle escape her lips.

"My trainers always said, 'Cassandra, you are too brash. You must think before you act'. I see what must be done, and I do it! I see no point in running around in circles like a dog chasing its tail" she continued. Taeren had always loved Cassandra's determination. "But I misjudged you in the beginning, did I not? I thought the answer was before me, clear as day. I cannot afford to be so careless again" she admitted. "Can't say I'm not grateful to hear that" Taeren said, a grin growing across his face.

Cassandra stopped attacking the dummy and turned to Taeren. "You've said you don't believe you're chosen. Does that mean… you also don't believe in the Maker?" she asked. "Now, that's a complicated question. I don't believe I'm chosen, no. But… urgh, how do I put this, I believe in the Maker, and yet I don't" he said. Cassandra looked surprisingly at him. "You actually believe in the Maker? What about the elven gods?"

Taeren used to believe in the Creators but over the course of the Inquisition he found out they were just strong mages, nothing more, but he still believed there was a higher power of some sort, were that was the Maker or not, he wasn't sure. "Oh, well the elven gods exist but they are not gods, they were simply remembered as gods. They're immortal in terms of age but if you struck a deadly enough blow, I'm sure they would die. How can a being like that be a god? But I do feel that there is a higher being but I'm not sure it the Maker, do you understand?"

"I think I do. But whether you believe in the Maker or not, I have to believe we were put on this path for a reason, even if you do not. Now it simply remains to see where it leads us" she said as she drew her sword again and began to attack the training dummy.

Taeren had wandered to the small wharf that stuck out of the frozen lakes surface and watched the sunset. He had strangely missed Haven, but he thought that might have been the guilt he felt for burying the town. The sunset from the wharf was quaint compared to the view he had from his room in Skyhold. He rather enjoyed it. He pulled out his nugskin book and began to sketch the landscape, he was sure he had put his paints in his pack. He took them everywhere.

By the time the sketch was done the last light in the sky was dying away. Taeren made his way to his cabin to collect his paints and then continued to the Tavern. He ordered some food and sat down in one of the secluded corners and set to work painting the sketch. His food was delivered not long after he had started. He ate small pieces as he mainly focused on painting.

"Maybe I should commission you to do the covers for my books." Taeren jumped at the sudden voice. He turned and saw Varric watching him paint. "How long have you been there?" Taeren had not heard the dwarf approach at all. "Not too long" Varric said as he sat opposite to Taeren. "Mind if I have a proper look?" Varric asked. Taeren nodded and turned the book towards Varric. "This is amazing, Taeren! How long have you been painting?" Varric said as he picked up the book. Taeren looked out the nearby window. _How long have I been painting? I think I started around when I joined the Inquisition_ he thought. "Oh, for about three or four years now…" Taeren replied. He then heard the rustling of the pages being turned. He flicked his head back to Varric who had flicked to the diary part of the book. Taeren reached out and slammed the book closed on the table. Varric jumped at the sudden movement.

"Sorry Varric" Taeren said as he pulled the book back towards him. "Is that your diary? There has to be some good stories in there" Taeren smiled at Varric, "Yeah, there probably are. Depends on the genre that you like…" He continued the final details on the painting. The warmth from the Tavern dried the paint quite quickly. "Sorry, Goldilocks" Varric said. Taeren smiled at that. He had missed Varric calling him that. The first time he had been called it, he had thrown hissy fit. He thought it was too feminine. But Varric explained that Taeren's long golden hair, as well as his golden daggers just made the name fit. "It's okay Varric. I suppose we should get to bed; we have to leave early for the Hinterlands tomorrow. Good night" Taeren said as he closed his book and left the table.

When he reached his cabin he began to pack his bag for the journey. He threw out many the items that were in his pack. He packed some new provisions, a warm cloak, and his paints. As he picked up the nugskin book it slipped from his fingers and fell open to the back pages. There were the paintings of the inner circle that he had done at the Exalted Council. He slowly traced his fingers over the paintings. It was then that he noticed a piece of folded paper that was slightly falling out of the book. He opened it up. Taeren had always painted others, but he never did self-portraits. Dorian had noticed this and had secretly tried to draw Taeren. When Dorian had given him the picture, a smile had crept onto Taeren's face. Dorian had very little drawing talent, and that was very apparent in the picture, but Taeren had cherished the picture. But now he sat on the floor of a cold cabin in Haven, staring at the picture, grieving for the loss of his friends. Taeren sat there for a few hours on the brink of tears before he finally managed to put the picture and the book into his bag and climb into bed, where the tears finally took hold, and he cried to himself till the early hours of the morning when sleeps sweet embrace took him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Herald. Are you awake yet?" came from the door to Taeren's cabin. It was soon followed by knocking. "We must be leaving soon" the voice continued. It was Cassandra.

"Yeah… I'm getting ready now" Taeren said sleepily as he crawled out of bed. He quickly donned his armour, putting his daggers in their place on his back, grabbed his pack and made for the door.

The sun was just beginning to rise over Haven. Cassandra, Varric, and Solas were waiting near the gate that led out of town. As Taeren approached the group Varric waved at him, "Morning, Goldilocks. Did you sleep ok? You kinda look like shit." Taeren stifled a yawn and nodded, "More or less".

"That symbol on your armour… that's the Inquisition's insignia" Cassandra said eyeing him suspiciously. "Why is the insignia on your armour?". Taeren looked at her for a long moment. He was wearing the armour he had got from Inquisitor Ameridan.

"Oh this? I found it in some ruin a while ago. Didn't know it was the Inquisition's insignia at that time. Perhaps I could take you there some time, we might be able to find out more about the Inquisition of past" Taeren said. That's completely believable he thought to himself.

"That would be good, maybe we can find out what happened to the previous Inquisitor" Cassandra said.

"So, shall we get moving?" Taeren said as he walked out of Haven.

##

The journey to the Hinterlands was short. Taeren really was tired. He stumbled over quite a few rocks and branches. Each stumble earned him a look from the group. After Taeren had stumbled for the seventh time Varric came up beside him and spoke.

"Hey kid, are you sure you're okay? You've been stumbling almost this whole trip." Taeren could feel the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay Varric. I just didn't get much sleep last night. Probably only about two hours" Taeren said as he yawned again.

"Only two hours? What were you doing?" Varric asked.

"I was looking through my book and kind of lost track of time" Taeren said as he smiled at Varric.

"Oh, well you should try get more sleep" Varric stated. Taeren nodded and continued to the Hinterlands in silence.

##

When they finally reached the Hinterlands the party headed for the Inquisition camp. They were greeted by Taeren's favourite scout, Scout Harding. Taeren asked for an update in how their situation was, which Scout Harding gave him the truth. That it wasn't that good. They needed to talk to Dennet but with all the fighting they couldn't reach him. Scout Harding then pointed Taeren and the group in the direction of the Crossroad and said Mother Giselle would be waiting there for them.

##

Instead of heading straight for the Crossroads Taeren lead the group through the surrounding areas. He knew he needed to get to the Crossroads soon, but he also needed to get all the supplies for the refugees there. They closed at least three Rifts before they came across the Citadel that many refugees had occupied. They closed the rift in there and Taeren quickly ducked off to grab the potion and recipe for the ailing woman at the crossroads. They then continued on their way to the Crossroads all while Taeren marked supply cache locations on his map. He also hunted a good few rams for the hungry refugees. The other members of the party had noted Taeren's strange nature, Varric was the one who finally brought it up.

"Goldilocks, why are you hunting rams? Shouldn't we be heading to the Crossroads?" Varric asked after Taeren had slayed the fifth ram.

"The refugees will most likely be short on food, I thought if we hunted some rams on our way there then at least they would have something to eat tonight" Taeren said as he quickly cut the meat of the ram.

"That… is actually a really good idea, I never thought about food supplies" Cassandra said as Taeren finished cutting the meat. He was glad he never stopped hunting, even after he joined the Inquisition. It was sometimes the only moment he could get away from the endless paperwork.

##

They reached the Crossroads not ten minutes later, and found the Inquisition's forces fighting off Rebel Mages and Templars. The group joined the fray. They quickly dispatched the enemies, and soon the fighting was over. Taeren noticed Mother Giselle tending to some of the wounded, but before he went to speak to her he pulled out his diary and tallied up the amount of people who had died, both enemies and allies. They were all people Taeren failed to protect. A few of the Inquisition soldiers had fallen in battle; Taeren recognised them from Haven. He turned to the pages were he had written the names of everyone he met and crossed out their names. Once he was done he slowly closed the diary and returned it to his pack.

"Thank you for your hard work. May you go the Maker's side" Taeren said in a quiet prayer to all the fallen. He noticed Varric and Solas had been watching him with confusion on their faces (Cassandra was already helping the wounded). Taeren ignored them and went and talked to Mother Giselle. He vaguely paid attention to her, he already knew what she was going to say. Once he finished talking to her he helped out with tending to the wounded, there were too many for his liking, but at least they are alive he thought to himself. Taeren then delivered the meat to the hunter, the potion to the ailing woman and the map to one of the soldiers that was now stationed there.

By the time he had finished helping out the sun had already begun to sink low in the sky.

"We should go set up camp before it gets too dark. There should be a good spot to set up camp just up that hill" Cassandra said as she, Varric and Solas joined him. Taeren nodded and set off up the path.

##

Camp didn't take too long to set up and soon they were sitting around the fire eating some of the ram Taeren had hunted. "So what did Mother Giselle want to talk to you about?" Cassandra asked while they ate.

"Oh, she said that we should talk to some of the clerics and try convince them that I am not the demon they fear me to be. Try sow some doubt into the Chantry" Taeren said as he chuckled a little.

"Well, that should be easy…" Varric said sarcastically.

"Your telling me" Taeren said as he finished his food.

He then pulled out his diary and began a rough sketch of the waterfall nearby. Taeren loved the fact that his elven eyes could see well in the dark, it meant that he could draw at almost any time.

"Watcha drawing this time?" Varric said as he craned his neck to see.

"The waterfall" Taeren said shortly as he focused on his sketch.

"What were you doing earlier today? I saw you writing in your book just before you went to talk to the Mother" Varric asked. Taeren stopped drawing and sighed deeply. He flicked to the page with the names and handed the book to Varric.

"That's the list of all the people I have met since joining the Inquisition. The names that are crossed out are the people we lost today" Taeren said quietly.

Varric stared at the page. He knew the Inquisition had lost people, but it was far more jarring that there were names for the fallen. Varric quickly shut the book and handed it back to Taeren. An awful silence hung over the camp.

"Well I don't know about the rest of you but today took quite a bit out of me, so I'm gonna go hit the sack" Varric said as he stood and headed for his tent.

"I'll take first watch. I want to finish this sketch anyway" Taeren said as he opened his book again.

"Make sure you get some sleep tonight. I'll come relieve you in an hour or so" Varric said as he disappeared into the tent. Cassandra and Solas then left and Taeren was left to finish his sketch.

##

True to his word Varric came and relieved Taeren. As Taeren laid down on his bedroll a sudden thought hit him. We have to stop the Mage and Templar fighting, but that lead to the annihilation of both groups last time. It's unnecessary bloodshed. I'll approach them and see if they would join the Inquisition. Taeren quietly sat up and went into stealth and snuck out of his tent. Varric didn't notice him as he snuck past and down the path towards the Witchwood.

##

He made as much noise as he possible could as he approached the Mages hideout. He had left his daggers back at camp. If this goes wrong, I am screwed! Taeren thought as he drew closer and closer to the hideout. He just hoped the mages didn't attack him on sight. Which luck was on his side, because when he came across the first group of mages they didn't attack him.

"What are you doing here? What do you want?" one of the mages asked Taeren as he approached. Taeren held his hands up in defence,

"I just want to talk". The mage eyed his suspiciously, but he saw that Taeren was unarmed.

"Well then, talk" the mage said aiming his staff at Taeren.

"I come with an invitation to join the Inquisition. We need mages support so that we will be able to close the Breach, and if you join, you will be safe from any Templar attacks" Taeren said earnestly. The group of mages looked amongst themselves, a few nodded.

"Follow us. We will speak more in the hideout, but if you even try to attack you will be dead before you know it" one of the mages said as the rest circled Taeren and led him to the hideout. He was ushered into the centre of the large cavern. All the mages were there, circled around him.

"So what is this invitation?" one of the mages asked.

"The Inquisition extends an offering towards you. We ask that, if you wish, you join the Inquisition. We need mages and their power to help close the Breach" Taeren said as he addressed the crowd.

"How do we know you are truly with the Inquisition?" a mage asked.

Taeren slowly pulled off his glove to reveal the Anchor, "Because I am their supposed 'Herald'". The mage who brought him in front of the group, He must be the leader Taeren thought, spoke again.

"The Herald of Andraste… that means you are with the Chantry!" the man accused as he pulled out his staff, many other mages did so as well.

"No! I swear to you that the Chantry as denounced the Inquisition and don't believe that I am the Herald, and nor do I" Taeren said as he tried to defend himself.

The mages looked amongst themselves. Some looked convinced while others were still sceptical.

"Look, the Inquisition needs the help of the mages, and if you join us, it will be as equals, not prisoners, and you will be safe from the Templars and the Chantry" Taeren continued. There was a long silence as the mages pondered the proposal.

"You will guarantee that we would be safe from the Templars and Chantry?" the leader asked.

"Well they denounced me and want me executed yet I'm still here…" Taeren joked a little to try lighten the mood. There was another long silence then the leader spoke again.

"We will think on this, return tomorrow night and we will give you our answer".

Taeren nodded at the man "Thank you, I will take my leave then". When no one moved to stop him Taeren made for the exit and returned to camp, using stealth to slip past Cassandra who was now standing watch.

##

"Taeren, it's time for use to be heading to see the Horsemaster" Varric said as he poked his head into Taeren's tent. Taeren grumbled in protest but sat up in his bedroll anyway. By the time he had returned and got to sleep he only ended up with another two hours of sleep. Taeren quickly dressed and exited the tent. He was handed a small bowl of oatmeal, which he ate quickly. Varric came and sat by Taeren as he ate.

"How much sleep did you get? You look worse than yesterday" Varric said as he studied Taeren's face. Dark circles had begun to shadow Taeren's eyes.

"Mm… not a lot. Just could not get to sleep" Taeren said as he avoided Varric's gaze. He didn't want to tell anyone of the meeting with the mages because Cassandra would surely kill Taeren if she knew that he snuck off in the middle of the night with no protection.

"Taeren, you really need to get some sleep" Varric said, concern lacing his voice. Varric had only ever used Taeren's name with serious matters.

"I swear I will try sleep tonight" Taeren said as he finished his food and stood, cutting the conversation short. Taeren had not managed to fall into deep enough sleep to be able to dream yet, which he feared. Since he got the Anchor on his hand his dreams were extremely vivid. While he was awake sometimes he got flashing images of Cassandra and Varric's demises when he looked at them. He absolutely feared to dream now, he would take Adamant any day.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"I don't think the people out here have any protection" Taeren said to Cassandra before they left camp to head to Dennet's. "Could you send a raven to Cullen, asking for some of his men to come here and construct some watchtowers, I can mark some ideal spots on our map while we travel to Dennet's". Cassandra nodded and sent a raven to Cullen. They then departed from camp. Along the way Taeren marked the spots for the watchtowers.

He also made sure the party would come across a pack of wolves so that they could deal with them before they reached Dennet's farm. Once the wolves were dispatched Taeren turned to the rest of the group.

"These wolves didn't seem normal. Perhaps the Rifts are affecting them somehow, we should go check their den, otherwise they maybe a threat to the people of the Hinterlands" Taeren continued while he waited for his companions to approve. While Varric muttered something about having to go into a wolf's den being a bad idea, the party agreed and they made their way to the den.

###

They killed the Terror demon quite easily and on their way to Dennet's Taeren found the lost druffalo and returned it upon their arrival at Dennet's farm. The group promptly closed the nearby Rift and Taeren saw some of the Inquisition soldiers beginning the construction of the watchtowers. The party finally went to see horsemaster Dennet.

Taeren knocked on the door to Dennet's home. He was meet with a slight muffled reply; "Come in" the voice said. The party entered the home where Dennet was waiting in the centre of the room.

"Name's Dennet" the man spoke. "I have served Arl Eamon for thirty years as horsemaster. I hear your Inquisition is looking for mounts?" Dennet continued.

"It is. Do you think you could help us?" Taeren asked.

"Not at the moment. I can't just send a hundred of Ferelden's finest horse down the road like you would a letter. Every bandit between here and Haven would be on them like flies on crap. You will have your mounts when I know they won't end as cold winter's breakfast" Dennet said pointedly. Taeren smiled at the man and spoke.

"We have commissioned our soldiers to build some watchtowers nearby because I noticed that you and your farm did not have much protection. We also cleared out a den of wolves which we thought might be threatening your farm."

Varric then added, "We also returned a lost druffalo and closed the Rift that was open nearby." Dennet stood silently for a second, obviously slightly taken a back. Finally, he spoke.

"Maybe your Inquisition isn't so bad if you managed all of that and noticed our troubles without having spoken to us. Very well, your Inquisition will have it horses. Though I am worried about the Mages and Templars that are fighting".

"Don't worry about them. We shall deal with them tomorrow, while you get your mounts ready for travel, and then the roads should be safe" Taeren said with a kind smile on his lips. "Although I do wonder, will you be joining the Inquisition along with your horses and stable hands?" Taeren remembered that Dennet needed some convincing before he joined.

"Well, you have cleaned up the area, and I can't say I'm not tempted. Still it feels wrong to abandon my land to go play horsemaster again" Dennet said unsurely.

"You do know that the Inquisition comes across horses from all across Thedas, maybe you could show everyone how superior your horses are. Show the people from Orlais and Tevinter what a real horse looks like" Taeren said slyly.

"Hmm… now I would like that. Alright you've convinced me; I'll join the Inquisition. Never let it be said that Redcliffe gave less than the best" Dennet said as he shook hands with Taeren.

###

The party returned to camp. It had already become late in the afternoon. While Cassandra and Solas pitched the tents, Varric collected some firewood and started a fire. Taeren left to hunt some of the nearby rams. While they had dry provisions, fresh food always tasted better he thought. He kept low and snuck through some of the nearby thickets, watching his prey like a hawk. The ram wasn't the fattest there, but I had plenty enough meat for them. Taeren went into stealth and drew his daggers, he stayed downwind from the prey as he crept closer.

 _By the Maker! I have missed this!_ Taeren though silently as the thrill of the hunt began to run rampant in him. Over the last few years he had never been allowed to hunt alone. The Inquisition always feared that something might happen to him, so he was always sent with a small guard. This was most of the time people from the inner circle, which none of them knew how to hunt like Taeren did, or he was sent with Inquisition troops, who were even worse.

He drew as close as he dared to the rams and then suddenly threw himself at the ram, both daggers striking into the ram's flesh. They both went down. He quickly pulled one of the daggers out and ended the ram's agony. He gutted the ram and prepared the meat. Once he had collected all the meat he could off the carcass he returned to camp.

###

As they ate Taeren noticed Solas was studying him. "What?" Taeren asked with a bit more venom than he had intended. He and Solas had not spoken since Taeren had called him Fen'Harel. Taeren had guessed that Solas was being cautious until he understood what was going on.

"Nothing." Solas bit back.

"Well it obviously not 'nothing'. What is it between you two?" Varric interrupted. Both elves were quiet. "Is this some kind of elf thing?" Varric asked again. "Is it a 'who is the alpha elf here?' kind of dispute?"

"Nothing of the sort" Solas said as kindly as he could to the dwarf.

"Well if looks could kill I think the Seeker and I would have to be looking for a new Herald and expert on the Fade" The dwarf joked drily. "You said something on the mountain. What did you say?" Varric asked Taeren. Cassandra looked slightly confused at the whole dispute. She had missed the 'fight' on the mountain and just though that the elves just didn't like each other.

"It is nothing that concerns you Varric" Taeren said.

"Well I think it concerns all of us. If we can't work together how are we supposed to save the world?" Varric asked. His tone somewhere between a joke and serious. Taeren sighed. He stood up and slowly walked out of camp. He always walked away if he could not handle something, otherwise he had a tendency to punch things. These 'things' generally being people.

###

He had originally planned to go find something to draw, to take his mind off everything but soon Taeren found himself wandering through the Witchwood. _Oh right! I had to go see the mages again_ he thought as he wandered to the cave.

When he finally arrived the mages watched him cautiously; he was still in his armour and had his weapons on him. Never the less he was ushered into the cave.

"Greetings Herald" the leader said as he approached.

"Please, just call me Taeren" Taeren replied.

"Right… well we have come to a decision. We will join the Inquisition. We have realised, as you said, we will be safe from the Templars and the Chantry. We definitely cannot have that safety here" the leader said as a smile spread across his lips.

"Great!" Taeren exclaimed as he clapped his hands together. "We should be returning to Haven within the next few days. We will come meet you here before we go to Haven" he continued.

"Although, I do have a question. What would you think if you had to work with the Templars to help seal the Breach?" Taeren asked. Unrestful chatter spread through the crowd. The leader held up his hand silencing them.

"I thought this question might arise. We have also thought about this. We could possibly work with the Templars, as long as we are definitely safe from them, and do not have to be watched over" the leader said. Taeren smiled a little.

"Don't worry. I sympathise you. I would hate to have been stuck in one of the Circles. I would personally guarantee that you would be safe from the Templars, but that is if they even agree to join. I wanted to make sure that it was okay with you first" Taeren said as he addressed the room.

"Thank you, Taeren. We are happy to help the Inquisition. We will await your return in a few days" the leader said as he slightly bowed his head. Taeren returned the gesture and left the cave.

###

Taeren made his way to the Templar camp immediately. _I don't want to put this off any longer_ he thought as he drew closer. As he began to walk up the path to the camp one of the Templars that were standing guard stopped him.

"What do you want?" the Templar man practically spat. Taeren smiled politely.

"The Inquisition wishes to extend an invitation to the Templars" Taeren said as he slowly removed his glove to show the Ancho r to the guards. They seemed extremely suspicious of Taeren but beckoned for Taeren to follow them.

He was lead to the Templar captains tent. A large group of Templars had surrounded him. They were not sure if he was a mage in disguise, even with Taeren's glowing hand.

"What is this about?" the captain said as he came out of his tent.

"The Inquisition extends an invitation to the Templars. We need help to close the Breach, which threatens us all" Taeren said. The captain looked him up and down, his eyes finally rested on the Anchor. Convinced that he was the Herald the captain spoke again.

"What are the terms of this invitation?" he asked. _How am I going to tell him they would have to work with the mages!?_ Taeren thought desperately. As silence grew between him and the captain, he realised he would just have to say it. He didn't have the leisure to pick out his words.

"You would join as equals to the Inquisition, however, you would have to work with the Inquisition's mages…" Taeren trailed off as swords were beginning to be drawn. He looked hopefully at the captain, whose face was a mask of wrath.

"You expect us to be able to work with those abominations?!" the man practically screamed as he drew his sword. He swung at Taeren who promptly dodged out of the way. The rest of the Templars were now drawing their swords.

 _Well shit._

###

Taeren quickly pulled out his daggers and began to defend himself the attacks. There were far too many to defend against. He felt himself be hit a few times, but the swings were sloppy and too rushed to cause much more than a bruise. Taeren knew that the Captain would be the hard fight, so he tried to focus his attacks on him first. He hoped killing the leader would break their frenzied attack.

He tried to keep the fight between himself and the captain away from the rest of the Templars, but this came to no avail. The Templars just followed the battle around the camp, throwing any swing they could at Taeren. Taeren quickly slipped into stealth, snuck behind the captain and slit the man's throat. The rest of the Templars stopped and stared. Their leader fell to the ground, dead. Taeren had hoped that this might stop them from attacking for the moment.

Pain. It stabbed right thought his back through his stomach. Taeren glanced down and saw the point of a sword jutting from his torso. _Fuck!_ His right hand went to the wound while he raised his left to the sky. He pulled at the Fade and let the Mark of the Rift build up in his hand. All the Templars eyes were transfixed on the slowly growing green orb. Taeren then released the power he had built up. A blinding green light shot out of the orb. It swallowed the Templars. Taeren heard screams of agony as the Fade pulled at the Templars.

The green slowly died away and revealed the camp, which was now strewn with bodies. _Nothing ever goes as plan does it?_ He pulled out his diary and tallied up the amount of people, adding them to the ever growing list. Taeren fell to his knees. The pain in his abdomen, slowly becoming unbearable. _Well you do still have a sword sticking out of you_ his inner voice said. He reached around and found the hilt, and pulled the sword out. _What are you doing?! You are supposed to leave it in else we will bleed to death!_ The voice yelled. "Urgh… I hate it when I'm like this" he chuckled dryly as he unsteadily stood and hobbled back his camp.

###

"It has been hours. Where has he gone?" Cassandra asked Varric.

"Seeker, do you think if I knew I would be here? I would be dragging him back" Varric said defensively.

Suddenly they heard the sound of boots on gravel. Both readied their weapons and were about to attack the origin of the noise. Then they saw bright golden hair come into view as the fire's light illuminated the origin of the noise. Taeren smiled crookedly at the two.

"I see you're glad to see me" he joked. Cassandra and Varric lowered their weapons.

"Where in Thedas have you been Goldilocks!" Varric said as he stepped towards Taeren.

"Would you believe me if I said I was riding a unicorn?" Taeren said with a smirk. _Why am I a smartarse when I am sure I am dying?_

"What? Kid are you okay?" Varric said as he finally drew close to Taeren. He finally saw the blood, that was, well, everywhere. "Shit! Kid!" Varric said just as Taeren's legs gave way out from underneath him. Cassandra came running over.

"What happened?" she asked desperately.

"Didn't I tell you? I was riding a unicorn. Or maybe it was a dragon. Oh, I want a pet dragon now! I've fought heaps, but I think I would much prefer my own!" Taeren babbled away as Varric and Cassandra examined the wound.

"How did you get this?" Cassandra asked. Unable to hide the concern in her voice.

"It was the nugs. Them and their little swords" Taeren babbled again.

"Seeker, I don't think he is really coherent enough to answer any questions" Varric said as he pushed a health potion to Taeren's lips "Drink" he commanded.

"What is going on" Solas asked as he stepped out of his tent. He knew something was wrong. He drew closer to them.

"He has been stabbed through the stomach" Cassandra said.

"By those nasty little nugs" added Taeren.

"And I think he may have lost a lot of blood" Cassandra continued.

Solas kneeled down next to them. He knew some healing spells. He pulled at the Fade and began to weave a healing spell.

"Hehe. You fucked up" Taeren slurred together.

"How?" Solas replied. He was focusing hard on the healing. It wasn't going to be a simple fix.

"You probably should have checked to see if he was mortal first. You didn't think he would survive the explosion, did you?" Taeren said turning his head to look at Solas.

"What is he babbling about now?" Cassandra asked.

"I have no idea" Solas said as he continued to heal Taeren.

"You know that you are kind of indirectly responsible. For the Breach I mean. Well that, and all my friend's deaths."

Everyone stopped for a moment. Cassandra looked at Solas suspiciously for a moment. Then shook her head. "What is he going to babble next" she sighed.

"Oh come on Seeker, if I ever write a book about this, it is pure gold writing material, well that is if he lives…" Varric conjected.

Both looked hopefully at Solas.

"He will be fine. I have stopped the bleeding and have closed the wound, though if he moves too much he might end up reopening it. I will look over him again in a few hours" Solas said. Just as he was about to stand a hand grabbed his arm. Taeren stared at him.

"I'm sorry I have been an arsehole to you. I just cannot forgive you right now…" Taeren drew quiet as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Solas looked at Taeren as Cassandra and Varric took him to his tent. _How? How does he know?_ Solas wandered into his tent and pondered for the next few hours until he had to check Taeren's wound.


	6. Chapter 6

" _Amatus" a voice called to him through the mist. It sounded familiar._

" _Amatus" the voice called again. Taeren finally realised who the voice belonged too._

" _Dorian" he said as he turned to face the man. Dorian was leaning against one of the bookshelves in his little nook in Skyhold's library._

" _Amatus" he said again as he began to step towards Taeren. Taeren watched as Dorian walked towards him. He heard a scuffle next to him and looked at source of the sound. Solas stood not too far away from them. He seemed to be sneering at Taeren._

" _Amatus…" Dorian called again, his voice sounding a little distorted. Taeren turned back to Dorian who was no longer in Skyhold's library but in an elven ruin._

" _Dorian?" Taeren asked as he stepped towards the Tevinter. Dorian then fell to the ground, Solas behind him with a sword covered in blood._

" _Dorian!" Taeren screamed as he ran towards him. He caught Dorian just before he hit the ground. Blood was pouring from the hole in Dorian's chest._

" _Ama…tus…" Dorian said in laboured breaths. His voice distorted by the blood that was drooling from his mouth._

" _No… No… No!" Taeren began pleading. He looked around to see if he could find something to bind the wound with but all he saw was the mangled corpses of his companions._

" _A…ma…tus" drew Taeren back to Dorian whose skin had gone far too pale._

" _Dorian!" Taeren practically screamed._

" _A…ma…tus… I… ve… you" Dorian breathed out as his eyes slid closed._

" _Dorian? Dorian!" Taeren said frantically as he shook Dorian._

" _No… don't leave me here… not by myself" Taeren said as he pulled Dorian into a hug, tears flowing down his cheeks._

##

Taeren woke with a start, tears still in his eyes. He went to sit up but instantly regretted the idea as pain shot through the side of his body. He decided it was best if he just stayed there, lying on his side facing the partially open tent flaps.

Sun shone through the flaps and lit the tent. _How long was I asleep?_ Taeren thought. He knew it had definitely been at least few hours since the sun had come up. He then noticed the sound of footsteps approaching. The footsteps were light and hard to hear, and that could only mean one person; Solas. Taeren's blood boiled.

The tent flap was pulled open and the bald elf walked in.

"Ah, you are awake" Solas said shortly when he noticed that Taeren's eyes were open and watching him like a hawk. Taeren just stared at the elf.

"Can I check your wound?" Solas said as he took a step forward. Taeren tried to shuffle backwards but his side protested.

"Leave me alone" Taeren said to Solas. Anger in his voice.

Solas looked at him and sighed. "What have I done to make you so hostile towards me?" Solas snapped.

" _Ma dalem esh'ala_ " Taeren said quietly. _You killed them_. He didn't want Varric and Cassandra hearing this.

" _Ar dalem esh'ala? Ehn?" I killed them? Who?_

" _Ma falon'en. Ma vhenan."_ Taeren said as the tears spilled down his face. _My friends. My heart._

Solas seemed taken aback. He couldn't remember killing anyone recently, other than some bandits, rebel mages and Templars.

" _Ir abelas_ _da'len,_ but I cannot remember killing anyone that might have been your friend. The only people I have killed have been bandits, mages, and Templar while travelling with you."

Solas was completely confused. _He knows who I am, and I have supposedly killed his friends and lover. Who is this elf?_ Solas didn't show his frustration.

" _Ir abelas_ " Taeren said quietly. "It is not you I should be angry at" _Not yet at least._

Solas was completely lost now. _One minute he is punching me and accusing me of killing his friends, then the next I'm not to blame._ Solas shook his head slightly.

"Can I check your wound now?"

Taeren said nothing but gave a stiff nod. Solas knelt down beside him and lifted the thin tunic Taeren way wearing to reveal the wound. He wove his healing spell and set to work healing the wound. It was almost healed.

"How long have I been asleep?" Taeren asked.

"Two days" Solas replied shortly as he continued his work.

 _Two days? The mages will be wondering where I am._ Taeren sighed. _I'll go see them as soon as I'm able._ Taeren relaxed as he felt his wound knitting itself back together. He was about to drift off back to sleep when he heard a ruckus outside.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Cassandra asked to what seemed to be uninvited guests.

"We are looking for the Herald. He said he would meet us in a few days, but he has yet to arrive" a man spoke. Taeren could only guess it was one of the mages. With a sigh he pushed Solas' hands away and began to sit up.

"What are you doing? You need to rest." Solas said as Taeren sat up.

"I have to go sort out our guest, else we might end up losing some newly acquired allies" Taeren said as he pulled himself out of the bedroll and stood. The world spun around him, and he stumbled, but to his surprise Solas caught him before he could fall.

Taeren shoved Solas away. He had not forgiven him yet. He made his way out of the tent, Solas following not too far behind.

##

"What do you mean the Herald met with you? When was this?" Cassandra interrogated the mage.

"He came to our hideout a few days ago and offered us an invitation to join the inquisition" the mage replied with an equally hostile voice.

"I have heard nothing about this" Cassandra said shortly.

"My bad. Sorry" Taeren said as he drew closer to them.

"Goldilocks! You're up and about. Are you ok?" Varric asked as the elf came alongside him.

"I'm about as well as you can be after being stabbed" Taeren replied. He then looked up at the mage. "Yeah, I think the Templars said no" he said sheepishly.

"Templars? You were stabbed by Templars?!" Cassandra exclaimed. Taeren could tell she was pissed already.

"Yes, I thought the stabbed part was pretty obvious" he joked but at the look on Cassandra face, which looked like she was close to murdering him, he continued. "Hey! I didn't plan on getting stabbed, but sometimes these things just happen!"

"How did you escape from the Templars?" the mage asked earnestly.

"I didn't."

"Sorry Goldilocks, but if you didn't I don't think you would be here. Maybe all that blood loss made you forget" Varric said with a dry chuckle.

"No. I didn't need to escape. They're all dead" Taeren said quietly.

There was a deep silence. Then the mage finally spoke again.

"You managed to kill an entire camp of Templars? Guess you weren't wrong when you said the Inquisition could protect us."

"When did he say this?" Cassandra asked.

"I think it was about four nights ago, I snuck out of camp, you suck as a guard by the way Varric," Taeren looked at the dwarf who just gave a shrug, "and asked the mages if they wanted to join us. I went back the next night and they said they would join us. I thought I would ask the Templars if they wanted to join too, this was their response." Taeren said as he waved his hand at his side.

"And you didn't think to ask us for our opinion?!" Cassandra snapped. _Well, she's pissed_.

"We need the help of the Mages or Templars to close the Breach. There were some potential allies here, that would actually speak to us, unlike the Templar order, or the mages in Redcliffe. If it means less bloodshed, then I will recruit as many people as we need! There is no point in closing the Breach if we are still waring amongst ourselves! Because what would you have done about the mages and Templars here? Just kill them all to make them stop fighting? Because that really shouldn't be an option!" Taeren was pissed he had to defend his decision so much.

Cassandra was silent. She realised he had a point.

"But what if you had been attacked?" She asked.

"In case you didn't realise, I was attacked. By the Templars. And I survived just fine."

"You were rambling about nugs stabbing you while you were bleeding to death on the ground. I would not call that the definition of 'surviving just fine'" Varric quipped.

Taeren groaned. He had really hopped that everything he had said while he was delirious had been in his head. Obviously not.

"Okay, so maybe not 'surviving just fine' but I'm still here and we have some mages to help us! So not everything is bad!" Taeren said enthusiastically. "But I suppose we should be heading back to Haven soon. Since we don't have to stop the Templar and mage fighting" he said to Cassandra.

"You're right, we should be heading back. Although I swear to the Maker if you sneak off in the middle of the night and get hurt again, I will tie you to a tree!" she exclaimed.

"Kinky; but I'm not into that, sorry" Taeren said before he could even stop himself. He felt his ears turn bright red. These people had barely known him for more than a week. Everyone started at him, silence hung in the air, then Varric burst out laughing, and the mage chuckled. Taeren could swear he even heard Solas chuckle a little. Cassandra just made her usual disgusted sound.

"So shall we go meet up with the mages?" Taeren said as the laughter died down, his ears still burning red hot.

##

As soon as they reached Haven Taeren was dragged into the War Room.

"What were you thinking?!" Cullen exclaimed. "Not only could you have died, and we lose the only means of closing rifts, you also brought a huge group of mages back with you. What if they become abominations?"

"Cullen, I'm so glad you care for my well-being!" Taeren replied sarcastically. He knew Cullen would have a problem with recruiting these mages.

Leliana and Josephine looked at him in surprise. He had been so formal and straight to the point the last time they meet, now here he was joking.

"But we have to be sure there are no abominations!" Cullen urged again.

"Cullen, I can assure you that there are no abominations because they have not attacked anyone and I doubt they will."

"Maybe we could station some Templars…"

"No."

"But Herald, it for everyone's safety."

"No. It's to make yourself feel safe. What about the mages huh? They don't feel safe around Templars, and I don't blame them. You treat them as though they are monsters that will attack anyone on sight, even though they were born with their gift. Do you really think the Maker would give people the power to wield magic, if he wanted you to discriminate against them and lock them away?" Taeren said a little too heatedly.

Everyone in the room was shocked. Taeren sighed deeply rubbing his forehead.

"I know I should have consulted everyone first, but it was a split second decision on my behalf, and if we had returned here and come to a solution how many more lives would have been lost? I stand by my decision of recruiting the mages. Now if you don't mind I am going to find some food and get some sleep if we are leaving for Val Royeaux in the morning" Taeren said as he walked out of the room. He was tired and his wound still ached.

He stopped by the Tavern and grabbed some bread before continuing to his little shack. Taking off his armour he plonked himself onto his bed and ate the piece of bread. _I probably should have grabbed some more food_ he thought as he finished the bread. But he was too sore to be bother going back to the Tavern so he climbed into bed and rolled over to go to sleep. He didn't want to sleep, but Maker did he need it. It wasn't long until his eyes drooped and he nodded off to sleep. His dreams plagued with nightmares of his Dorian and friend's deaths.


	7. Chapter 7

Taeren woke with a start, tears in his eyes. His mind still racing with images from his nightmares. It had been the same nightmare since he was stabbed by the Templar. He sat up in bed and grimaced as pain shot up his side. He lifted the loose shirt he was wearing and inspected the wound. I had already begun scarring. _Another one to add to the ever growing collection_. He opened the shutters beside his bed and the first rays of dawn began to seep into the cabin.

He ran his hand through his hair, as if to try shake the nightmares from his mind. However, the pictures still lingered. He sighed deeply. The fear of sleep and the nightmares were really beginning to wear him down. The wound really didn't help the whole matter either. He took a few deep breaths to try bring himself back to normal, he didn't want to worry everyone, especially because it would raise questions. He sat in bed for a good long while, trying to hold back his emotions.

After trying to clear his head from the nightmares he swung his legs out of bed and began getting ready for the trip to Val Royeaux. Once he was dressed and his pack was packed and waiting by the door he headed to the Tavern to get some breakfast.

##

He was sitting at one of the corner tables in the Tavern eating his breakfast when Varric came and sat with him with his own breakfast.

"Morning Goldilocks."

"Morning" Taeren replied with a mouthful of food.

"So we off to Val Royeaux today? Have you ever been there?"

"Yeah, a few times. Although I don't particularly like it. It's too gaudy for me."

"Wait, you have actually been to Val Royeaux? I didn't think a Dalish elf would venture into cities very often, let alone critique their architecture" Varric chuckled, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I'm like the odd elf out" Taeren said with a smile.

Varric laughed loudly.

"What a pair we must look like. The dwarf that doesn't particularly like caves, and the elf that goes to cities and critiques their architecture. It's almost as strange as seeing the Seeker traveling with Chuckles."

Taeren laughed, he never realised how strange their group must look to other people. He then thought of when he, Bull, Dorian and Varric had gone to Val Royeaux, and laughed even harder. The laughing actually brought tears to his eyes, a mix of happiness and pain from his side. Varric had a slightly puzzled look on his face as to why Taeren was now doubled over in a laughing fit. He didn't think it had been that funny. Though he was just happy that Taeren no longer looked like he was about to murder someone, as when they first met.

##

Varric and Taeren met Cassandra and Solas next to the gates leading out of Haven.

"So shall we get going, Goldilocks here has some architecture to criticize" Varric said with a mischievous grin. Solas and Cassandra looked at each puzzled but shrugged and led the way out of Haven.

##  
On their trip to Val Royeaux Varric had a sudden thought.

"Goldilocks, why did you say nugs stabbed you while you were bleeding out?"

"What?" Taeren replied, confusion on his face, he could only remember somethings from his rambling.

"When you were bleeding out you were adamant that nugs had stabbed you." Taeren groaned loudly.

"That's most likely because I really don't like nugs" Taeren said a little sheepishly.

"You don't like nugs?" Cassandra said in surprise.

"No. They really creep me out. It's their feet that are the creepiest part, they almost look like children's hands" Taeren said with a little shudder.

Varric gave a hearty laugh.

"You're not wrong there, Goldilocks" he said.

"What else did I say? I don't remember very well" Taeren asked.

"Well, you were riding a unicorn, or a dragon, you couldn't remember" Varric replied.

"Wait, did you remember everything I said?" Taeren asked sceptically. He knew Varric liked to remember stuff for his books.

"Yip, all stored away up here for future books" Varric said as he gave his temple a tap.

"You said you have fought dragons before. Is that true or just blood loss delirium?" Varric asked.

"Oh, Yeah that's true. I have fought quite a few dragons." Taeren could see no point in hiding the fact he had killed dragons, as long as he didn't specify where.

"Honestly?" Cassandra asked.

Taeren gave a nod. Varric gave an impressed whistle.

"Yeah, my daggers are made from dragon bone" Taeren said as he took one of the daggers off his back and handed it Varric. Varric turned it in his hands, studying it, thoroughly impressed.

"While I was kicking it with Hawke back in Kirkwall, we came across a dragon, and honestly I feel like we are probably going to come across some in our travels. Glad we have your dragon slaying expertise" Varric said, joking a little at the end.

"I hope we come across some dragons. Once you start fighting them it's like an itch, you have to find more to fight" Taeren said with a humble smile. _I'm starting to sound like Bull…_ His heart shuddered with pain. Bull had betrayed them and killed Sera while they were fighting. The worst thing was he had not hesitated betraying them. Taeren had always know Bull was fiercely loyal to the Qun, and Taeren had made the mistake of sacrificing the Chargers instead of the dreadnaught. _Just another one of my many fuck ups_ Taeren sighed to himself.

"Goldilocks? Are you okay?" Varric's voice cut through Taeren's thoughts. Taeren looked at Varric.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"You're looking a bit pale" the dwarf continued.

"Just leave it. Please" Taeren pleaded. Varric looked a little concerned but dropped the matter and they continued on to Val Royeaux in silence.

##

Val Royeaux went as smoothly as it did last time; the Chantry degraded, a cleric punched, and the Templars defecting. Taeren knew the trip was a waste of time the first time round, and he knew this trip was going to be no different.

"That went about as smoothly as I thought it would" Taeren sighed as the group huddled to discuss what to do next.

"Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?" Cassandra said in anger. But before anyone could answer an arrow hissed through the sky impaling itself into the stonework.

"What was that?!" Cassandra exclaimed as she drew her sword.

"It's nothing to worry about Cassandra, you can put the sword away" Taeren said as he reached down and plucked the arrow out of the ground. He opened the letter that was attached to the arrow. And sure enough it was the letter from Sera, crude drawings and all.

"What does it say?" Varric asked.

"It says for us to search for 'red thing' though out the marketplace" Taeren said as he handed him the letter. "I feel we might benefit from this if we follow it up."

"So what are these 'red things'?" Cassandra asked.

"I can't really say," Taeren began as he looked around the marketplace, trying to remember where he had found the 'red things' last time. "They could be-" Taeren cut off as he spied a rather familiar merchant, who was in possession of a certain necklace. Taeren wanted to march over to Ponchard and demand the Birthright, but he knew the stubborn merchant wouldn't give it to him, especially since the Inquisition didn't have any political power at the moment.

With a small huff he turned his attention back to the party, who had noticed the heated look that Taeren was giving Ponchard.

"Anyway where was I… ah right we have to find the 'red things'. As the note suggests we should have a look around the docks, café and market. I have a feeling that they are most likely going to be in unconventional places." Taeren began to wander over towards the docks, trying to remember exactly what the 'red things' looked like, with the rest of the party following close behind him.

##

The hours passed swiftly, and soon they had the location to where Sera was. As they were about to leave Val Royeaux the party was intercepted by Vivienne's messenger, and also by Fiona. Taeren almost didn't bother talking to Fiona, since it was almost certain that she wouldn't remember their meeting. Taeren only talked to her because of the disapproving look Cassandra was giving him. _There are probably a thousand other places I would rather be_ Taeren thought bitterly as he spoke with Fiona.

##

Once they were out of the heart of Val Royeaux there was only one thing Taeren was thankful for. That the nights he needed to meet Sera and Vivienne were different nights. He remembered the first time he was in this situation he was angry that he had to spend longer than a day in Val Royeaux. The group had headed to a nearby Inn to wait until the party at Vivienne's. Taeren was pretty relaxed about the whole situation, he just had to keep his cool and not punch the asshole at the party, Vivienne would take care of that. Solas and Varric were in the same boat as Taeren. It was Cassandra who was silently fretting about Taeren insulting the Grand Enchantress. Cassandra tried to hide her minor fretting, but Taeren could see it; reminded him of a very tame version of Josephine. It was then that a sudden thought hit him.

"Damn it!" Taeren yelled as he slammed his fist down on the table. His Josephine, Cullen, and Leliana were oblivious as to what had happened to him and his companions.He wanted to punch something; he thought he had lost everything, but he still had his advisers. _And since I was an absolute selfish asshole they are left with even less._ Taeren threw his head into his hands.

"Goldilocks? What's up?" Varric asked. Taeren jolted his head up to see his companion's eyes all fixed upon him. Worry was evident in their eyes. Taeren let out a deep sigh as he raked his hand though his hair.

"It's…" Taeren started, but when he saw the look in Varric's eyes that said 'don't you dare say nothing' he had to stop and think.

"I think I left the window beside my bed in Haven open" he said in a tone that hinted that he did not want to talk about it.

"It's obvious that that was a lie-" Cassandra started but stopped when Varric raised his hand to cut her off. He could tell something was up as well, he knew since Taeren first punched Solas when they first met, but he couldn't force the elf to talk, and didn't want to push him to the point that he would never confide in them.

"Anyway, I think it's time I head to Vivienne's" Taeren said as he rose from his chair and walked to the door. "Don't wait up for me, this shouldn't take too long anyway" he said as he closed the door behind him and left the inn.


End file.
